The recipe:
1 ancient citadel, reduced mostly to rubble due to heavy bombing during the Vietnam War;
4 curious youths getting lost in the back pathways of said city;
2 chains to which are attached a one-tusked, understandably irritable and strangely sexually aroused elephant.
And most importantly... 1 over-zealous male approaching elephant with perfectly good intentions but perhaps not much foresight.
Add all ingredients, stir and let bake for 10 minutes.
If instructions have been followed adequately, results should be as follows:
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